Continue reading]]> Hey there!  It’s a great day here where I live.  We just had a snow storm come through and clear out the nasty nasty air we had been having for the last few weeks.  I can breathe again!

Well, as you know, each month I have been working on a new parenting goal to help me become a better Mom. I call it my parenting plan and I am working on my 5th month and my 20th week.  I post about my experiences each week.  I’ve had some successes and some failures.

I had kind of slacked off for a few years while I was going through some major health issues and then later working full time and I got into some pretty bad parenting habits.  I want to be better at what I consider the most important job on earth (and sometimes the most challenging job on earth).

This month I am working on getting healthy and getting my blood moving so I actually have energy to hang out and be present with my kids.  I am working on going to the gym 3 times a week.  I confess, I only went 2 times last week.  I don’t like making excuses, because they are pointless, but I had some good ones and some bad ones too (laziness).  I will be better this week and just got back from the gym a few minutes ago.  I feel  so much better when I make the effort to go, but it’s oh so hard to get myself dressed and out of the house so early in the morning.

I have found that going to the gym consistently for a couple months now has really changed my energy level (even though I’m in my first trimester of pregnancy – which is known for pretty severe fatigue).  I have found I don’t need naps as often, which means I can get more done around the house, which means I am less stressed, which means I can give more of myself to my kids and let go and have fun.  Win Win Win.

Continue reading]]> This week was the first snow of the season and we had lots of fun making snow angels, shoveling the driveway together, and playing in the snow.

Well, we’re already on month 4, week 2 of the Parenting Plan.  I have been working on listening to my kids more this month.  I have found when I just try… a little, I get these amazing results that I wasn’t planning on at all.  For example, this week I decided to turn off the radio when I pick the kids up at school so I could actually hear what they were saying to me.  Guess what happened?  The kids became little chatterboxes and started telling me all about their day and what happened at school. They were excited to open up and I was excited to listen.  They spend the majority of their day at school and I want their at home (and in the car) time to be one where they are heard and loved unconditionally.

This is so exciting because it used to be the car ride home from school was a highly charged and stressful time for me to wait in line to pick them up for 15 minutes and then have them yelling over the radio so no one could hear each other only to come home and all do our separate things, like homework, practicing, and work.  This very small thing has been very powerful to me.  I also realized how easy it was for me before to tune out what the kids were saying and just throw in a “uh huh” or “yeah” every now and then.  This week I  am really trying to hear what they are saying to me and be supportive.  I can’t believe I wasn’t doing this before.  I am embarrassed that I wasn’t because it’s such a simple thing, but it is what it is and I am doing this parenting plan because I want to be honest with myself about my weaknesses so that I can be better.

Continue reading]]> Do you have a child who is disabled?  If you do, I personally think parenting disabled children is one of the hardest jobs on earth. I  have also heard that while it is difficult, it is also very rewarding to know you are making a difference in the life of a child.

I was moved by this article in McKay today about the effects positive parenting with disabled children can have.  I am constantly in awe about the simple things that make a big difference.

This quote from the article is particularly interesting, “The data showed a positive association between parenting and child outcomes.  When there is positive parenting, there is a beneficial effect on the social and developmental outcomes of children.  They also found that the greater the maturity level of the parent, the greater effect they had on a child’s life.  “The results provide support for efforts to evaluate and promote effective parenting skills when providing services for young children with disabilities,”

If you have a disabled child, would you please post a comment about any ideas you have that can help you stay positive while faced with a difficult challenge, such as parenting a disabled child.

See the full article here:

Positive Parenting with Disabled Children

**All parenting advice and information on Positively Mommy is provided for informational purposes only. Unless otherwise noted, the site content is not written by doctors, psychologists, or other health care professionals. The staff at Positively Mommy do not have psychiatric degrees or any other therapeutic training. The majority of our advice is drawn from personal experience and thus represents personal opinion. It is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any reliance on the information Positively Mommy provides is solely at the risk of the user. Positively Mommy does not assume any responsibility for damage or injury to persons or property that may arise from the use of the advice and information Positively Mommy provides.

Continue reading]]> School started this last week for my kids.  All 3 are going to school this year with the youngest being in half-day kindergarten at a local charter school.  I love watching the kids grow up and achieve great things and become leaders and scholars in their respective classes.  However, I always get a little emotional when I drop them off at school on that first day.  I miss them so much when they are away at school!  I think the separation is healthy for us as when the children come home from school, we are all elated to see each other again.

This week has been literally life changing for me.  I read this book called The Myth of Stress.  I almost didn’t buy it because the price tag was relatively expensive, but I’m so glad I did.  Reading this book has helped me in numerous areas in my life, not just with stress, but also in my relationships and defining what is important.

I think this week of the parenting plan was probably the most successful yet (this month I’m trying to not yell and not act annoyed when my children ask me things).  I have been a much calmer Mom as I have tried to control my temper and my actions.  I feel so much better about myself and my relationship with my kids this week. I have tried really really hard not to raise my voice, be too busy to talk to my kids, or feel annoyed with barrages of questions that kids sometimes have.

I think my kids feel more loved and listened to and I feel more patient.  Our home had a different feel about it this week and I like it alot!  I am enjoying participating in this parenting plan and sharing my experiences with you.  Please comment if you have any similar experiences or advice.

**All parenting advice and information on Positively Mommy is provided for informational purposes only. Unless otherwise noted, the site content is not written by doctors, psychologists, or other health care professionals. The staff at Positively Mommy do not have psychiatric degrees or any other therapeutic training. The majority of our advice is drawn from personal experience and thus represents personal opinion. It is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any reliance on the information Positively Mommy provides is solely at the risk of the user. Positively Mommy does not assume any responsibility for damage or injury to persons or property that may arise from the use of the advice and information Positively Mommy provides.

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Sometimes my kids make faces at me like this one because to be honest, well, let’s face it, I have a house to clean, errands to run, dinner to make, laundry to fold, kids to raise, volunteer hours to log, money to make, and many other responsibilities that cannot fully be listed in one blog post.  I get stressed out!  And when I get stressed out, guess what I do?  I get annoyed.  That means when my kids ask me a question (which very well may be the 100th question I’ve had that day and it’s only 8:30 am), I start to tense up and use a tone of voice with them that I’m not proud of.  I think it sends the message to them that what they have to say is not of value and that I’m not really listening.  It also sends the message that I get angry and stressed out when they come to me with an issue, problem, or even a simple comment.  I can see why they feel this way, because it’s true!  I think part of positive parenting is seeing our weaknesses as parents and working on them a little at a time to try to improve.  So, that’s what I will be working on month 2 of the Positively Mommy parenting plan.

I will post next week about how it goes!

Please comment if you struggle with the same issues I do and what you have done to become better.  I would love to hear from you!

**All parenting advice and information on Positively Mommy is provided for informational purposes only. Unless otherwise noted, the site content is not written by doctors, psychologists, or other health care professionals. The staff at Positively Mommy do not have psychiatric degrees or any other therapeutic training. The majority of our advice is drawn from personal experience and thus represents personal opinion. It is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any reliance on the information Positively Mommy provides is solely at the risk of the user. Positively Mommy does not assume any responsibility for damage or injury to persons or property that may arise from the use of the advice and information Positively Mommy provides.

Continue reading]]> This is the last week in my parenting plan for this month and so far it has been a really great experiment for me as a Mom. I haven’t been perfect at it, but I have tried really hard. Today at Church one of the speakers talked about how spending time with your children is so much better for them than any other activity (my kids are involved in lots of activities so this really hit home to me). Nothing is more important than taking the time and making the effort to spend quality time with them. I still can improve so much, but I feel like I’ve made an ok head start.

This week we were preparing for a baby shower. I have a friend who adopted a baby with only one day’s notice. She doesn’t have any other kids, so she didn’t have anything prepared for a baby. There were lots of people in our neighborhood who supported her and I’m so glad she got to adopt such a sweet little boy. My kids helped me a lot in shopping and preparing for the baby shower.

My oldest daughter wanted to make her own cookbook because she adores cooking, so she made this cute handwritten book where she copied recipes from my cookbooks.  We talked about the recipes and what she would like to make from the recipe book.

We also played many games of Yahtzee on the ipad and Ticket to Ride after the younger kids went to bed.  We had lots of laughs and this little girl is competitive.  I find it hard to win when I’m playing with her.  Maybe she can teach me her moves!

This week my middle child and I spent some time shopping together and having a fabulous time.  I spent a lot of time curling her hair and she helped me make apple slices for a road trip.  We sent silly emails back and forth and played some games on the computer.  She lost a tooth this week so she made an elaborate tooth structure for the tooth fairy to find her tooth in.

My youngest and I have a pretty strong bond.  He follows me around everywhere and we pretty much do everything together.  I don’t worry too much about not spending enough time with him.  We generally read books and talk every day.  This week he told me, “I’m in love with you Mommy”.  Oh, that just melted my heart!  I love that little man.

Like I said earlier, this parenting plan has been a big blessing in my life and has helped me to get my priorities in order.  My family is most important to me and I want to find time in my day to show them that.

My plan for the next month will be to watch my tone of voice with my kids especially when I’m stressed out, (which is nearly every day).  I won’t be posting for a month because of a family situation, but my thoughts will be on it for sure!

* All parenting advice and information on Positively Mommy is provided for informational purposes only. Unless otherwise noted, the site content is not written by doctors, psychologists, or other health care professionals. The staff at Positively Mommy do not have psychiatric degrees or any other therapeutic training. The majority of our advice is drawn from personal experience and thus represents personal opinion. It is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any reliance on the information Positively Mommy provides is solely at the risk of the user. Positively Mommy does not assume any responsibility for damage or injury to persons or property that may arise from the use of the advice and information Positively Mommy provides.

**All parenting advice and information on Positively Mommy is provided for informational purposes only. Unless otherwise noted, the site content is not written by doctors, psychologists, or other health care professionals. The staff at Positively Mommy do not have psychiatric degrees or any other therapeutic training. The majority of our advice is drawn from personal experience and thus represents personal opinion. It is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any reliance on the information Positively Mommy provides is solely at the risk of the user. Positively Mommy does not assume any responsibility for damage or injury to persons or property that may arise from the use of the advice and information Positively Mommy provides.

Continue reading]]> Welcome to the half way point on my quest for becoming a better Mom this month. This is week 2.

This is my personal parenting plan and I’m still working on spending 15 minutes of 1:1 time with my kids each day to focus on having fun with them and getting my priorities in line (they should be my first priority, but sometimes I let other distractions get in the way).

This week I’ve kind of let distractions get in the way!  As much as I’ve tried not to, I’ve had 2 sick kids.  You can see my son was too tired to throw up again and just fell asleep on the couch holding his throw up bowl.  eew!  Not only were the kids sick, one kid was sick twice in one week!  My adorable husband was also out of town at a conference in Las Vegas. I am not a big fan of single parenthood and I missed him terribly.  While it was only 2 days, it felt like forever!

I was a little bit caught off guard by how little I was able to do this week with those 2 variables thrown into the mix. However, we were able to use our waterballoon pump to have a fun time in the backyard.  My daughter and I filled the balloons and then all the kids went out back and we had a mondo fight.  It was lots of fun and we like getting wet when it’s 95 degrees outside.  I would have been ok if someone would have sprayed me with the hose, but I settled for a little water balloon fun.  We took turns throwing the balloons off the deck to see if we could get them in the box.  We caught one, but it was a large child.

We also did things like reading one on one with each other, talking in bed, going out to eat with a friend, playing checkers, and sending silly emails to each other.  Wow has it really been a week?

Until next week, wish me luck.  How are you doing on your parenting plan?  Please leave a comment and let us know!

**All parenting advice and information on Positively Mommy is provided for informational purposes only. Unless otherwise noted, the site content is not written by doctors, psychologists, or other health care professionals. The staff at Positively Mommy do not have psychiatric degrees or any other therapeutic training. The majority of our advice is drawn from personal experience and thus represents personal opinion. It is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any reliance on the information Positively Mommy provides is solely at the risk of the user. Positively Mommy does not assume any responsibility for damage or injury to persons or property that may arise from the use of the advice and information Positively Mommy provides.

Continue reading]]> My oldest daughter will be 11 years old soon and she is stuck in that pre-teen whirlwind of getting her feelings hurt almost every day for feeling like her friends are leaving her out and ignoring her.  She cries nearly every night because she feels like she doesn’t have very many friends at school or in our close-knit neighborhood any more.  It just breaks my heart to see her going through this.  I was hoping she could escape it for a couple more years.  Isn’t 11 years old too early for this to be happening?!

At first, I wasn’t sure how to deal with her emotion about her friends and I was surprised that all of a sudden (almost over night) that her friends were so very important to her sense of self and purpose.  She began to feel that she wasn’t good at anything and that no one liked her.   She is super fun to be around and is very good at anything creative.  She is a little shy and quiet but she gets over it quickly when she knows someone well.

As I prayed and pondered what I could do to help her, the answer came that I needed to build up her self-confidence a lot more than I had been.  I started spending more one-on-one time with her and gave her lots of hugs and told her how great she was at things she did.  I have also tried to make an effort to invite more friends over to our house to play.  All these things have helped quite a lot.  However, a few nights ago as I was tucking her in, she was having anxiety about friends again and was starting to get emotional before bed.

I talked to her about how her friends would come and go, but that her younger sister looked up to her so much and would be a friend for life.  Over the last year or so, they had been bickering quite a bit and really hadn’t enjoyed playing together as much as they previously had.  I thought it was the 3 year age gap, but a lot of it was probably because my older daughter was desperately seeking out other friends in the neighborhood and at school.

This conversation about her sister calmed my daughter and she went to sleep that night
easily and without the anxiety that she usually has at bedtime.  I noticed that the next couple days my girls were playing together more.  This brought so much joy and happiness to me because I knew it was what they both  needed.  Despite their age gap, they still have a lot in common and like to do the same things.  I love seeing them play together and showing one another how it feels to have a sister.

What special bonds do your girls have?  What do you do to foster those bonds? Please share them with us in the comments section.

**All parenting advice and information on Positively Mommy is provided for informational purposes only. Unless otherwise noted, the site content is not written by doctors, psychologists, or other health care professionals. The staff at Positively Mommy do not have psychiatric degrees or any other therapeutic training. The majority of our advice is drawn from personal experience and thus represents personal opinion. It is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any reliance on the information Positively Mommy provides is solely at the risk of the user. Positively Mommy does not assume any responsibility for damage or injury to persons or property that may arise from the use of the advice and information Positively Mommy provides.

Continue reading]]> So yesterday I posted this on Facebook:

“I had a lightbulb moment last night. I am one of those stressed out Moms that doesn’t fully listen to what the kids say all the time and I was reminded that my 11 year old needs me more than ever. I really want to change, I just don’t know how to stop my stress addiction. Do you have any advice for me?”

Too Many Distractions!

I received a lot of comments with articles and things that helped them with the same issues I was having.  I love when my friends give such good and positive comments!  I really liked an article from Hands Free Mama called How to Miss a Childhood.  She gives tips and advice about how to make your kids feel more wanted and loved by you as their mother.  I enjoyed reading the article and I suggest every Mom read it, especially Moms that are media savvy.  There are so many distractions out there, maybe we don’t have to get rid of all of them, but we would be better off if we let go of  being “connected” to our devices at certain times of the day, such as in the morning when the kids wake up, when they get home from school, and at dinner and bed time.  We could use that time to have a dialog with our kids and really listen to what they have to say to us. What do you think?

**All parenting advice and information on Positively Mommy is provided for informational purposes only. Unless otherwise noted, the site content is not written by doctors, psychologists, or other health care professionals. The staff at Positively Mommy do not have psychiatric degrees or any other therapeutic training. The majority of our advice is drawn from personal experience and thus represents personal opinion. It is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any reliance on the information Positively Mommy provides is solely at the risk of the user. Positively Mommy does not assume any responsibility for damage or injury to persons or property that may arise from the use of the advice and information Positively Mommy provides.

Continue reading]]> Deliberate parenting doesn’t just happen overnight.  It takes time and effort.  Sometimes it requires going outside of your comfort zone.  With that said, I plan to take this year to practice being a better Mom and positive influence on my kids and I am going to share my journey with you.

I plan to make one simple “goal” per month and do my best to make it a habit with my kids and master each concept within the alloted 30 days.  I will be doing everything from spending 1:1 time with each child to keeping a gratitude journal.  Join me as I try to stay on task and consistent.  I promise each “goal” will take less than an hour per day to complete (many will only take minutes).  These goals willl be quick and easy, yet effective.  Stay tuned for the next post!

I find it easier to take baby steps in the right direction instead of trying to do everything at once which stresses me out and makes me want to give up.  With that in mind, I would like to share my Positive Parenting journey with you.  Stay tuned for more posts!

**All parenting advice and information on Positively Mommy is provided for informational purposes only. Unless otherwise noted, the site content is not written by doctors, psychologists, or other health care professionals. The staff at Positively Mommy do not have psychiatric degrees or any other therapeutic training. The majority of our advice is drawn from personal experience and thus represents personal opinion. It is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any reliance on the information Positively Mommy provides is solely at the risk of the user. Positively Mommy does not assume any responsibility for damage or injury to persons or property that may arise from the use of the advice and information Positively Mommy provides.